"I'm off to college now! Bye!" she called out and was gone. I did not have a chance to explain my feelings to her.I spent the day cleaning her room, repairing the broken window and washing all of her clothes that got wet from the rain. When she got home, she kept in her room saying she had a exam on Monday and wanted to study the whole weekend.Tina went to bed early and, I didn't know, was lying there thinking of what I, her father, had done to her. All she could remember was waking up with me touching her breasts and kissing her with her hand on my hard manhood. She remembered the flush she had felt in her body. It was the same feeling she got when her boyfriend tried to play with her tits and, after a brief struggle, he did. She fell into a deep sleep.I went to bed dejected. I knew I had hurt my beautiful daughter, the only thing I had left that I truly loved.The next day was the same. She stayed in her room and went to bed early. I was in turmoil. What was I going to do? I felt the. I mean really looking at myself. It's hard, you know ... to make that leap ... accepting you are responsible for your life and your choices. It's easier to just wallow in the pain and blame others. My hate was keeping me connected to him I guess. If I am brutally honest, it was a way to keep myself from going through the pain of finally letting go. I see that now. My tears over him turn to tears over myself. The picture that had taken up a permanent residence in my head fades. His cock fucking her blurs. Her squeals silence. All I see now is a picture of myself driving by his house looking for her car, checking his Instagram a million times, stalking her Facebook for any signs of them together. I finally only see myself and all the time I have wasted and I am embarrassed. My next move is I get in my car and just start driving ... to nowhere in particular. I jam my playlist and drive and drive and drive. My mind seems to clear with each passing mile. Somehow, by muscle memory I guess,.
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