For a few moments I sat in it, getting up my courage. My hands were sweating and I watched, waiting to see if anyone arrived. I was ten minutes early so I had a few minutes. I turned the car mirror toward myself and fixed my purple tie. 'Fashionable and smart' was the look I was trying to project. Decked out in my dark grey suit, black button-down shirt and black shoes, I felt a little uncomfortable. Having not worn 'going out clothes' in a while, I felt strange and I didn't want to attract attention. I didn't want to stand out. I wanted to remain anonymous. An anonymous voyeur. That sounded a lot cooler than I felt. I watched a thirtyish, well-dressed couple enter the club, and I felt a little more comfortable. At least they looked... 'normal'. I winced and remembered my ex-wife's words. "Why can't you be 'normal' and do what other guys your age are doing..." I set my jaw. I looked at my watch. Okay let's do this. After getting out of the car, I locked it, and smoothed down my suit.. I know, on some level, that John deserved what he got, I mean I understand the code and I knew what I had to do, but still ... I mean, shit, he got banged up in the process, and I feel kind of shitty about that!” Melody and Jane both drew close, and we simply held each other in companionable silence for a few minutes.“Nate, if he hadn’t crashed, but had finished out of the money, would you feel this badly?” asked Jane; as Melody burrowed even closer and Beth pulled herself against us as though suddenly chill. “I mean, assuming that John actually learned anything from this whole thing, which frankly I doubt, since it would be a giant leap in evolution for a ‘Neanderthal’ like John to learn from an ass whoopin’, would you feel badly about what happened?”“No, I guess I wouldn’t, assuming he learned anything at all!” and I snorted at the thought of John suddenly overcoming his learning impairment and growing a sense of honor, as well as a spine, spontaneously. Maybe they could graft one.
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