.. I was a virgin when I started college. I considered myself straight (still do) but I had occasionally jerked off thinking about guys. One guy in particular who was a year behind me in high school and who was also on the swim team. I think we were sitting around at training one day with the coach talking too much when I caught myself checking this guy out and I had a boner. Lets just say it was tricky to hide that wearing only a pair of black speedos.I went home and jerked off multiple times thinking of this guy. Other than that, I mostly masturbated fantasizing about girls so I didn’t read too much in to it and I didn’t think I was gay. I was just really horny like most people in high school.So, when I got home after grabbing Billy’s speedos, I put them on and jerked off thinking about Billy. Not the first time I’ve jerked off thinking about a guy, but not my normal thing.A week or so goes by and I kind of forget about Billy’s red speedos. Then, at an evening pool session I am. After hugs, condolences, and brief explanations we tried to get some sleep. We all went to our rooms. Dad left to get a hotel room. We tried to convince him to stay in the house with us, but he said he still could not.The next few days were busy with notifications, answering the phone from well-wishers, and funeral arraignments.After the service we did not have a reception at the house. It was just Aunt Shannon, dad and us. Aunt Shannon eyed dad cautiously. And dad wondered about her. Aunt Shannon became an occasional guest at the house for about five years before dad left. When dad left, she was at the house more often. She was a good friend to mom.Shannon put together a small meal for us and we sat mostly in silence. After dinner we cleaned up and went into the living room. Conversations were very limited with each of us in our own thoughts. Shannon began the conversations by asking a couple of questions. At first they were directed at me, but soon all of us were in the.
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