Deb was the social sparkplug, her smile and charm captivated everyone. Me? I was her shadow, trailing behind her with a stupid grin on my face. Besides, who would find me interesting, a fat accountant who collected stamps for a hobby?---It was fall and the church committee were wracking their brains to come up with a new fundraiser. Someone came up with the bright idea of a 'Date Auction'. The rules were simple, married couples only. On the appointed Saturday morning, men would bid on the women for a date, dinner at six at a restaurant of the man's choice, home by 10PM.About two dozen couples of the congregation volunteered. Deb and I were good sports and joined in.On the first appointed Saturday morning, the women were brought out singly onto the stage of the church basement. Most were nicely dressed in the hope of attracting higher bids. Some were shy and embarrassed but a few shook their derrieres in fun when the bidding got heavy. It was a hoot. Deb was Number Nine and went for. Joe would get the first one for evidence. The other one was for Luke’s High School Home Coming party, two weeks from now. Joe drove at a moderate speed with Brian sobbing in the back seat. Neither spoke as they moved along. After several minutes, Brian’s sobs stopped and he sat there, silent and in shock. Twenty minutes later, Joe pulled up to the county lockup and took the nude handcuffed Brian out of the back seat and across the parking lot to the front of the police station. Since it was mid morning just after church services, the streets were crowded with formally dressed men, women and children, walking along the street. Seeing the nude man, the mother’s covered their children’s eyes so they wouldn’t see the pervert being taken into the station. A couple of local high school boys were running along side of the officer and Brian, laughing and taking digital pictures of the big doofus with the tiny dick and pink ribbons. Luke had called ahead to alert them. The men were.
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