The night was absolutely wonderful. The breeze was nice and cool and the sound of the water was so pleasant. The couples stood in front of each other holding hands and staring into each other's eyes. They took turns saying their own vows out loud. Yvette and Abel went first. Julie and Ben watched as the brother and sister spoke words of love to each other. Then it was Julie and Ben's turn. Ben held his sister's hand in his."My darling sister, my friend, my lover," Ben began, "Finally we get to be together after years of stolen glances and kisses. I'm here with you today to share my love and life with you. You are the world to me and I could never love another woman the way I love you. You'll always have my heart, my soul, my everything. I stand here before you today to make you my secret wife for society but my real wife in my heart. I promise to love and cherish you until the day I die. I will take care of you as long as I live. Julie, my sister, my lover, my wife."Julie's heart. I can't find the right word ... thoughtful, kind, understanding, comradely? A bit of each of those things.But you can't paper over the cracks when something like this happens, when your wife vanishes. When you don't have closure. When you just don't know what's happened. It's just like in engineering. If you see cracks in a large concrete casting, you can't just pour more concrete in and expect it to be OK, just like that. Cracks usually mean you have a serious problem. So I can't "just move on", as though Jenny never happened.Anniversaries are the worst and birthdays. If was mine last week. I caught myself wondering what she might buy me, where she might have arranged to take me out. Then I remembered, she is not there anymore. It was hers a month ago. I found myself thinking what we might do together. What she might like and then I remembered — there is no Jenny any more.Our wedding anniversary hurt most. But then we are still married. She might not be there, but it is still the.
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