When I look back, getting involved was simply a matter of meeting a guy who exposed me to it. At first it was following his lead. Over time though it turned into something I enjoyed. For the most part, it was more about curiousity and naughtiness. It was scary and exciting. At first, I felt more like it was happening around me. Something that others were doing, not me. I just happened to be around it. I think though, that I was making excuses. There was a part of me that tried to justify what I was doing and why. Over time though I stopped fooling myself.If I'm honest with myself, I got into it simply for the attention and to be desired. I'm not being overly critical of myself, just honest, when I say I'm a very plain looking person. Nothing wrong with it, simply the way some of us are. The spots I went to were visited by either gay men or straight/bi men. The gay men of course had no interest in me. The bi men though, many of them were my age and older. Many were married. Many had a. He comes around and opens the car door for me reaching in a grabbing my arm and pulling me from the car. He ushers me into the house and to a small room with a desk and twin bed with a white bed spread. The rest of the room is not decorated and the single window is covered in a shade with a white curtain. He sits me in the chair at the desk and produces my book, laptop and papers from class. He hands me a single sheet of paper that lists the assignments I am to complete. He leaves the room and I sit there for a moment trying to absorb all that has happened within the past two hours. As my moment turns into minutes I get up and look out the window to a lovely back yard filled with gardens and as I stare out the window I rethink the day and how I ended up in the professors house with a sore bottom. I did not hear the door open so when he spoke it startled me and I whirled around. Girl, you will sit down and complete your assignment within the next two hours is that understood. If I.
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