My dogs don’t even have bikes.A blonde woman visits her husband in prison. Before leaving, she tells a correction officer, “You shouldn’t work my husband so hard. He’s exhausted”. The officer laughs and says, “Are you kidding? He just eats and sleeps and stays in his cell”. The woman replies, “Bullshit!. He just told me that he’s been digging a tunnel for months”.One of my earliest memories was seeing my mother through the oven window. We were playing hide-and-seek. She said, “You’re getting warmer”.Did you know that on the Canary Islands there is not a single canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing. No canaries there, either.I was invited by a female janitor to smoke pot at her apartment, but I politely refused. I can’t deal with high maintenance women.If you’re paying $3.00 for a bottle of Smart water, it isn’t working.I don’t need a “Do Not Disturb” sign. I need a sign that says “Already Disturbed. Proceed with caution”.The druggist at the pharmacy was telling a client: “You. But please understand, you can’t whisper a word of this to anyone.’ Jordan brow creased in a serious expression, but she was quiet and waited for Raven’s story, including she hoped, the reason for the pistol in her nightstand and her stint as an actress. Raven stacked the pillows against the headboard of the bed and got into a comfortable position before she began her tale. Jordan lay on her side watching Raven and propped her head up on her arm as Raven started. ‘The thing is…I’m not who you think I am Jordan. My name is not Raven Summers…it’s…Lily Thomason.’ Jordan’s eyes grew wide at the news, ‘Lily is your name? Wait a minute…that man at the restaurant…remember…on our first date? He called you Lily. Did you know him?’ Jordan asked her incredulously. Raven replied, ‘No…that is…I don’t know him. I guess he remembered me from…my past job though. You see, I used to be a federal agent too.’ Now Jordan’s eyes grew even bigger and her mouth fell open. She was full of curiosity and.
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