The shop they led me into was a touristy T-shirt and trinkets place. Ten minutes later we left. Addison had picked a Tee for me that had World’s Weirdest Father printed on the front. Julia, with a laugh, had picked a Tee - the one I was currently wearing - with It’s All My Fault on the front.It amused me a lot. They had fun picking the T-shirts out and I had more fun watching them have fun. I even liked the Tee’s colours! But, I wasn’t as happy when eagle-eyed Addison spotted a furniture shop and steered us to it.“No!” I objected. Shopping for someone else was fun. Shopping for myself was a struggle. I couldn’t decide what I liked or didn’t.“You said you want to change the furniture in your study,” Addison reminded me. “They might have nice things in here.”Both Addison and Julia pointed out possibilities. I found something wrong with every choice; too uncomfortable, too dark, too staid.My daughter appeared undisturbed at my truculence. She paused, studied me and asked, “Do you really. Having them around has made me want some of my own." I love you Petra. But, don't ask about children please."Petra was pissed."If I want one, I will have one mister. Neither you or anyone else can tell me differently." Calm down, sweetie. You know what I meant and you know why." I know Nick. You cannot punish yourself forever." I will see you in a little bit."Nick hung up. Petra sat on the edge of the bed.Kristen said, "Miss Petra, are you okay?"Petra put on false smile."I am fine, Kristen. We are going to have guests in a few minutes. Would it be okay if I left you and your sister in here to play?"Kristen tried to act older."Yes ma'am. I will watch her." Good girl. Tonight we are going to go see your mother."Kristen yelled, "Yea!"Sarah hung her head and started to cry. Petra knelt down next to her. "Sarah, look at me." Sarah looked at Petra.Petra said, "What is wrong?"Sarah shakily said, "I don't want to." Why not?" I like it here."Petra said, "It is okay, sweetie. You can visit.
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