Her essence is what attracts me. By her name and with the tone of her e-mail, Squeaky has captured me. Although I am not a submissive by nature, I will do anything to or for her that she desires, because I want to please her. Whatever it may be that she wants, if it is within my power, she will receive it. Squeaky, I close my eyes and you are standing before me, dressed in a white blouse, a dark skirt and wearing sandals. I will cradle your face in my hands, so you can look into my eyes as I open them. I want you to see my desire, my love, and my lust. Slipping my fingers into your hair to bring your face to mine, I kiss your forehead, eyes, cheeks, nose, chin, neck, beneath your ears and nibble on your lobes, and, finally, your mouth. My desire is to taste you, your mouth, your skin, your entire body, with my lips and my tongue. I want to listen to you breathe and to make you pant, to listen to your heartbeat and make it race. Squeaky, Pulling my head back so you can see me, for you. . and too harsh for me to forgive, hell, I'll probably never forget it either. There is no turning back now. I'm sorry. I know it all started with my cheating on you, and I really have nobody to blame but myself, but you went overboard with your revenge... way overboard."When she broke down in tears I wanted to hold her... but I knew that I couldn't do that either. I turned and walked away. Leaving her standing in the open doorway of what had been a loving home. A chill coursed through my body as I closed the front gate to the yard. It was probably the last time I'd ever be here as a married man.My next few months were difficult for me. I'd go from missing Sharon to being glad she was out of my life. Loving her to hating her in one breath. My work suffered as the divorce drug on. I can't remember how many times I went over in my mind about how I had managed to screw up my marriage with someone about half my age.The day I got the final decree papers a couple of co-workers were pushing.
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