Was that a memory? I believed it was. I turned off the ignition, got my purse and jacket and sat there in my car, trying to get up the courage to go inside.For the first time, I realized that I hadn't thought to fix anything ahead of time for dinner. Should I have stopped for take-out? Should I have fixed something? What did Carmine like now? Had his tastes changed sine he was on his own? I shook my head and decided that I was just stalling, looking for any reason to not go inside my own home.I walked slowly to my door, used my key to open it and walked in, dropping my keys and my jacket where I always did. I was hesitating; afraid to look up and see him standing there. How did I know he would be standing? He always stood when I came into the house. Always! He always did it at home. If I had been out and he was home, he would stand when I opened the door and came in. It was Carmine's way.I took a deep breath and looked up. He was standing there, in the doorway to the kitchen where he. I loved watching it. After they broke apart they each lay against the headboard looking well used and radiant.I caught my breath and went to get the tray. Melissa’s eyes went wide when she saw the coffee pot.“Oh my god! Gimme! I love you.” Melissa was clearly happy to have coffee.I gave her the cup. She cradled it against her like a treasure and inhaled its aroma. How could she not be awake already? Lavi took her cup less dramatically. We sat and chatted. Lavi criticized my narrow definitions of sexuality for my dyke comment. She was probably right, too. That led to my sharing a story from my more sociable days that involved a lesbian couple, which Melissa made me promise to tell her in much more detail at some future point. The girls shared that they were going shopping and home for a bit, which reminded me... I got up and got my wallet and pulled out a credit card and put it on the bedside table. “That’s for you girls today.”“Um ... why?” Asked Melissa, clearly suspicious, picking.
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