Is that what you wanted to hear.’ ‘Not just that, Dan. We have a lot of work to do. Maybe someday we’ll be able to do that while we’re in the same room. We have to learn to talk about… sex. Okay, what happened next?’ ‘We talked. It was really good. We talked for over an hour. She told me how much you loved me. I told her how much I loved you. She rubbed my back and I rubbed hers. I would love to be rubbing yours right now.’ ‘Mmmmmm. That would feel good. What did you talk about.’ I ended up talking with him for quite a while, almost an hour. Then I asked, ‘When you were rubbing her body, did you look at everything?’ ‘She didn’t seem to mind.’ ‘Did you like what you saw?’ ‘Of course, I did. She really isn’t as beautiful as you, but it’s part curiosity and part instinct I think. She’s feminine and attractive and she seemed so uninhibited.’ ‘I like being looked at. I think it’s just natural for women.’ ‘Do you do what she does? With other men?’ Ohoh. This was something I didn’t have any. ’ I smiled very nervously, happy both at the compliment and because he had taken away any possible pretext to pull out. He was also right about the now or never bit too. He climbed onto the bed and lay stretched out on his back, his hands by his side, fists clenched with worry, and I clambered on alongside him. I lay on my side, looking at him beside me and wondering how to begin, while he gazed fixedly at the ceiling, his eyes only occasionally flicking across to me before returning to stare straight upwards. It was not the easiest beginning, but I was determined to make it work. I didn’t fear him, and that gave me an opportunity that I just daren’t miss. We lay together for nearly a minute before I dared act. I know that doesn’t sound long, but I suggest you lie naked next to a man and wonder if you dare touch him, and then see how long it seems to you. Eventually I gritted my mental teeth and reached out. I didn’t aim directly for his penis, I wasn’t yet confident enough to do that.
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