To start with, take things a sentence at a time, then move on to looking at how sentences work with each other, and finally to do a paragraph-level analysis. I think the following checklist provides a good starting point for critiquing any unit of writing you’re examining:Can it be clearer?Can it be simpler?Can it be shorter?If the answer to any of these questions is ‘yes’, then it doesn’t immediately mean the writing is ‘wrong’, or ‘bad’. You can usually make a sentence simpler and shorter by deleting adjectives and adverbs. Often that’s a good call, but not always. It’s just something to think about. I advocate erring on the side of clarity, simplicity and brevity whenever you’re in doubt.Simplicity and brevity are pretty self-explanatory virtues, I think. A sentence that, by being more complicated than it needs to be, confuses with its great number of sub-clauses and myriad conjunctions, not to mention unnecessarily sprinkling in copious amounts of flowery, polysyllabic adjectives. " She smiled and me, and looked at Mom."That's all she's been talking about," Mom said with a laugh."Well, Mindy, I'm Nurse Hancock. But you can call me Jennifer, okay? I'll be with you this evening, until after you go to sleep. Anytime you need me, just ring the call button right here, see? In any case, I'll be checking in on you from time to time." Will you be here in the morning, too?" No, sorry Honey, my shift ends at midnight. But Carla will be your early morning nurse; you'll like her. Actually, this is my last shift, at least for a while. I'm getting married in a week, and I have to prepare for the wedding. I haven't decided if I'm coming back to nursing eventually, but right now I plan to be a homemaker." Gosh, I'm lucky then, that I get to have you as my nurse. I like you. You're so pretty." I don't know why I said that, and I was suddenly embarrassed. I could feel my face getting red, but then Jennifer smiled and I felt better."Why thank you, Mindy. And I'm lucky I get you.
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