It looked good. From the neck up, I could barely recognize myself. Instead, I saw an intelligent, wide-eyed woman peering back. A bit square-jawed, perhaps, with a nose a bit too large, but the makeup softened both of those mannish features into something that could easily pass in public, I thought.But what was this? Was I proud of my appearance? Shouldn't I be fighting this more fiercely?"Must be the drugs," I thought, "and the brainwashing. I'm getting more pliable and submissive."The chair clicked and slid away from the bench. I looked up and saw the exit door open.But it was a different exit door which opened this time. So instead of the return hallway, I walked into another new room.This new room was well lit, with a full-length floor-to-ceiling mirror on one wall and a series of doors on the second wall. The other walls were blank."||TRAINING ENGAGED, BEGIN LEVEL 7: FIGURE AND DRESS ||" Geez, how many levels are there?" I wondered."|| Please step into the closet ||" said the. I tried. A bunch of times. Tried to do it at a church. I thought that was a good choice. Chickened out there. Went down to a high school football field around midnight with a six-pack and set my fat ass on the 50 yard line. Couldn’t do it there either.“It’s good though. What does he need to hear from me for, huh? He’s up there talking to the good people and hanging with your mom and grandma and his pop and I’m down here. I think we both know I’ll be headed in the opposite direction. I just woulda liked to have told him I was sorry, ya know?“Anyway, calling you is out of the fucking question. I know where I stand with you, and I get it. I’m no good at writing, so letters are out. These messages seem to help. Maybe one day I’ll get the balls to actually send them to you. You deserved better, Ann.“I’m trying to be a better man. I’m trying to be like Jim, even if it’s too fucking late. I’m really trying Ann.”After wiping his eyes he leaned over and turned off the recording program.Two.
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