”She turned to look at me, her smile fading. I nervously added, “Of course, that doesn’t have to be anytime soon, y’know, no pressure.”To my relief, she laughed. “You are so on edge,” she commented, kissing my lips. “Relax.”“Well I am, after all, what were your words again? ‘Such a boy?’” I teased.She smiled again. “You are such a boy,” she murmured, kissing me again.“Your boy,” I added.“Only if I’m your girl,” she teased back.“Thinking about that makes me happy,” I told her earnestly. We kissed again, and I felt her tongue brush across my lips. I broke off the kiss and gestured to the stairs. “Maybe we shouldn’t do that again on the couch,” I pointed out.She shrugged and turned away. “But, uh, you can put your hand on my neck more if you want,” she said, trying to play it cool, never looking at me. “Like, whenever you want.”“Yeah?” I asked with a cheeky grin.I could only see the back of her head, but I saw her lower her head and shake it. “I can hear your smile right now,” she. "Yes," I answered.Patrice was quiet. She got up and went to the bathroom. When she came back, she sat on her bed and looked first at Tim's picture then at me."You're right. I can't make this long distance thing work. I need more. I need a boyfriend who is here. If you think you can make him happy, then you should try."Her tone was even, without inflection. It was like a judge delivering a death sentence.I had what I wanted but now I only felt worse. All I could think about was how I was taking away her dream. She had been telling me about her boyfriend for months. I had listened eagerly about how wonderful he was and I had wished I'd meet someone like him someday. Now I had. Why didn't I feel good about that?"Are you giving up?" I asked Patrice."I don't think that's what I'm doing. I think it's already over. I want the best for Tim. If I can't give it to him, I want someone else to."Patrice's words shocked me. I was overjoyed that she was willing to step aside and not be any.
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