Usually, Sunday lunch was just me, Mark and Jem, but this Sunday, Phil said he wanted to come and, naturally, he brought Emily with him. And because Emily was there, so was Amanda, Lottie and Libby. If I’m honest, when I found myself sat between Amanda and Lottie, I suspected that this had all been Amanda’s idea and Phil’s wish to come with us was just her excuse to come too.In fairness, the interrogation didn’t start until the main courses had arrived. My first thought was that it was weird that she wanted to know all about my time with Vanessa but hadn’t asked about any of the other girls I’d been with. But when I thought about it, I realised that all the other girls were her friends and she probably got the gossip from the horse’s mouth, so to speak. But she hardly knew Vanessa, as was evident in her opening salvo.“So, how was it last night with ... What’s her name again?”“Vanessa.”“Yeah, right. So, how was she? Does everyone who wants a P.R.E. have to turn up early now and treat. I don't want to get in trouble." You won't, dear. I already told you, I won't tell your parents. Whathappens at Grandma's stays at Grandma's."I hesitated. "I'll... I'll wear whatever you want me to wear." Good girl," she said."I'm not a girl, Grandma." Would you like to be one? For as long as you're with me?"I took a deep breath. Did she mean it, or was this a trap? I wanted tosay yes. I was afraid of what would happen if I said yes. She'd saidtwice that she wouldn't tell my folks. She was pretty much encouragingme to do it. Maybe this was an opportunity I'd never have again. Iwanted to trust her. I decided I could. I decided I would."Yes." I felt tied up in knots inside, hoping I hadn't said the wrongthing."Good girl," she said. "We're almost home. First thing we'll do is getyou out of those ugly boys' clothes. Then a bath, and then some prettierthings to try on." Oh, Grandma!" I was so happy that I started to cry.All those years of fear and humiliation and stifled desire, all.
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