Until I wandered into the souvenir section.Immediately I thought back to years past when I’d stop at a Stuckey’s for breakfast and look, always, for the souvenir paddles. They’d always have several choices, all highly varnished, each displaying its saucy message; “Apply To The Seat Of Learning”, “For Naughty Boys”, and so on.I guess that, as political correctness took hold and ‘spanking’ fell out of fashion, the chain chose to discontinue sales of the paddles and they’d all but become a thing of the past.Here, though, was a display of perhaps twenty different paddles, all identical in shape and size, all with the highly-varnished finish, all thin and, I imagined perfectly suited to sting and burn a naughty male’s posterior.Without volition I found myself reaching out and picking up one of the paddles. I could feel my heart pounding and my penis stirred in my trousers, aroused by my immediate fantasy of a stern, strict woman applying this very same paddle to my bared bottom.Holding. "Yeah. But there's more." I looked down at my hands. "I have lost all control of myself. I kept myself under control for sixteen years, and in four days I've torn it all down. I can't control my emotions, I can't control my body, I can't control anything, and I don't know what to do." Is it all that bad?" Tina asked."Listen. Less than a week ago, I was a person who clamped down on her hormones like a vice, and guarded her virginity like a damn prize. So, I get stuck in this Program, and I find it's impossible to clamp down on the hormones anymore. At first, I welcomed that. I let the feelings happen-and I ended up, quite willingly, giving my virginity to someone I was falling in love with." I shot Jared a little smile, then dropped it. "Now look at me. Not only can I not go twenty-four hours, I can't even wait for the guy I'm in love with. I'll go grab any ol' guy, and for what? To get off? To "prove" something to myself?" It's The Program," Jared said. "It's hard to keep control when.
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