” God raised a single eyebrow at Lucy, and then vanished in a flash of golden light. I lit another cigarette and inhaled as I processed what just happened. Lucy eyed me for a second, and then scooched over and laid her head on my shoulder. I wrapped an arm around her and lazily played with her hair as I thought things over. “It’s a lot to take in, isn’t it?” she whispered. “Yeah…” I trailed off. My mind was a battleground of conflicting desires and cautions. Ever present in this conflict, was the elephant in the room: my feelings for Lucy. What did they mean, were they real, and more importantly, what was happening to me? “Hmmm,” Lucy laughed in a slight vocal fry, “you are adorable when you’re thinking.” “Oh yeah?” I smiled down at her. “Your brow does this little thing,” Lucy smiled, pushing the skin of her brow down, “and your lips kind of pinch together.” “There are a lot of adjectives I could use to describe you,” I chuckled, “and ‘adorable’ is not one of them. You could be. I thought I would meet a nice boy one day, bring him home to introduce him to my family, and then get married. Sex didn't really come into my calculations at all. I had always been taught that sex was something you did after you got married.Suddenly, I find myself with two boyfriends, sex, and still no marriage. I don't know what I'm going to do. Things are a lot more complicated than I thought they were going to be. You see, the two boys are very different and I like them both but not in the same way. Carlo, who was my first real boyfriend, and who I met again last weekend, has been making love to me for over a week now. I think I am in love with him. Or, at least, I think I do when I make love with him. Whenever I get the chance - despite having to study for my nursing examinations - I try to sneak out of the house to see him. Three times in the last seven days!I went swimming with him on Tuesday evening at a private pool he has access to (I think he knows the security guards). It.
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