’I’ll try and push him to open up, ‘But you don’t show it, you’re hot and cold. It hurts me when you disappear.’He’ll apologise and tell me he’ll change, ‘I don’t mean to be, I’ll think more. Now I know how it makes you feel. I never want to hurt you, you mean so much to me.’Then he will do something to make me laugh, something to turn me on, he’ll distract me with kisses in all the right places…And the cycle begins again. He never walks and never lets me. I think we’re done, OK this is going to hurt but this time, I mean it, I’ll see this through. I never do. I would have to walk from all my friends too and I can’t do that, I won’t do that. Because I know, the moment we go out drinking together, it’s all back on. We cannot walk from each other, there’s a magnetic pull between us. I only have to be near him for my whole body to be set alight. I think he feels the same, no, I know he feels the same…I think. See, he confuses the shit out of me.The last few months, however, have been. He already had electricity in the cave. One of the first things he had done when his grandparents left him the farm was run lines the 150 feet from the machine shed to the cave so he would have lights in the evenings.The opening of the cave under the bluff was only about 30 by 15 or 20 feet. The front was about ten feet high. He could pick up enough stone and blocks to wall that off easily. The floor wasn't perfectly level but he could even level it out some with a little concrete in strategic locations. Pete decided he had a plan. Early the next morning he went to town and made the few purchases he needed to get started. He ordered some sand and gravel to make the concrete and mortar. He purchased and took home his cement and some of the building materials he would need immediately. He ordered a good steel door for the front and two triple pane PVC windows. He also ordered some lumber and metal roofing to make a covered porch for his little cave home. Pete snorted to himself and.
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