I was sure I could control my feelings. He is the ‘romantic, in love with love, I want my heart broken’ one. He wanted to feel alive – and I am confident he did – but I was sure I wouldn’t fall hard. I had too much to lose and already loved my husband. Then we connected – over and over again – with our lips. That was more intimate than anything else we could have done, and I remember the moment when he pulled back from my lips and I thought, ‘oh no’ quickly followed by ‘oh shit’ then ‘hell yes’. How it wasn’t obvious to everyone around us is still amazing to me. We were totally crazy about each other. It made me nuts because he took these big risks – like he wanted us to get caught – or he just couldn’t keep his hands off of me (my preferred version). I should have listened when he crooned, ‘I really like you but I can’t be friends – not with these hands of mine.’ When his energy was around me I was totally intoxicated – could not look or pull away, even with the stakes that high.. ”Jess adds, “Jamie has pretty much seen it all, I’d think. How does that help him?”Now I’m uncomfortable but Jess seems energized. “Ok, have you satisfied yourself in front of him?”Finally, Jess is dumbstruck, bright pink and it isn’t the sun. So I laugh.She says, “No, that hasn’t happened and I’m not sure I could.”“I guarantee he’d enjoy it.”“Voice of experience?”“Oh, well, no, unfortunately. Voice of male DNA again.”“Ok, then. What about the guy at the pool?”“C’mon, Jess. You’re creative. You figure it out.”“I’m sure I will but this is fun for me.”“I see that. Ok, then. How about your wear that bathing suit to your pool. It shows off more than, uh, normal.”“I’d be a pariah to the other moms who happen to be my friends. This thing is barely there.”“Your goals seem to be in conflict.”“Yes, they do,” she says resignedly. “I’m going to take the girls in for some quiet time. Dinner tonight?”“Sounds good. See you around 6.”I was so relieved to have that behind me. I thought dinner would.
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