OK – if it's real rocking, then maybe this was a boat. I'd been on a boat before – walking was just a matter of timing your steps to the rocking.The small door behind me looked like a bathroom door, and it was. I didn't turn on the light – bathrooms have mirrors, and I desperately didn't want to see myself. I fumbled for the toilet seat, lifted it, undid my jeans, and pushed them down. Steadying myself on the wall, I sat, and let flow.My pee smelled and stung. I peed a lot. Dehydration. Drink water dummy.And then I was like, Why? I was supposed to be dead. Peace and quiet and dead. Why couldn't I be dead? I couldn't even kill myself successfully, not even with pills and a bridge to jump off of. Fuck, Fuck, FUCK. I felt tears tickle the corners of my eyes. I didn't want to cry. I didn't want anything. What I wanted was nothing, or really, nothingness. I just wanted everything to be over.Sniffling, I wiped, pulled up my pants, flushed, and turned to the sink. Dixie cups, in a little. She pointed to the left, and another flight attendant greeted us. Rachel was young and bubbly, with a fairly short cap of brilliantly red hair. I wondered how she had gotten a First Class assignment, as I thought that was based on seniority.Rachel took us to seats, and whispered "don't be surprised if I address you like airline executives. This is a three-class aircraft. Domestic first equals international business. We're going to sneak you into the unoccupied international first section. Don't know how much we'll see the flight crew, but they know and are cool."When the curtain to Business Class closed, Rachel came up to us and said, "Let me put your minds at rest." She raised her skirt, showing I was in the aisle seat, so I was closest. Grinning, she revealed a trim patch of glowing red hair. I reached out and gently ran a finger along her slit, just enough to flavor it. Turning, I raised it to Vanessa's lips, where she licked it. Everyone smiled. "Clearly, we're all cool about the.
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