Occasionally I'll sit in the lounge when they have visitors and manage a stilted, embarrassing addition to the frequently risqué conversation. But most times - particularly on Saturday nights - I'll play snooker at a local parlour, pay a rare visit to the pictures or, as is most likely, watch television in my room. Especially when they have one of their special parties.Those parties, of course, are really nothing more than sexual orgies to which, until a couple of months ago, my parents used to invite me. Eventually, as of course you would expect, they gave up when I kept saying no.Now you'd think that someone like me would have jumped at the chance to go to that sort of party wouldn't you? But it tells you the extent of my problem when, as obsessed with sex as I am, I still can't bring myself join in, even in the comfort and safety of my own home with my parents and several of their very best friends.Well that brief synopsis - very brief really - has brought you up to date with. He didn't have to stay in the country and do work that should be done by a true blue Englishmen. He'll be fine back in Lebanon or Syria or wherever he came from. At least, that is, until the yids blast the ay-rabs to fucking kingdom come as they keep threatening."Many of Iris' clients despised Iris with exactly the same fervour as they enjoyed fucking her. Some justified it to themselves by voicing the belief that she was an illegal immigrant and therefore deserved only to be fucked. Iris couldn't be bothered to tell them that as far as she knew, not one of her ancestors had been anything other than English. Perhaps there was some Welsh and Scottish blood in her, but she was sure that wouldn't make her any less English in the eyes of clients who still believed that Britain and England were synonymous."Although I'm a Scot," said one client whose name like the rest of his identity was never revealed to Iris, "I'd rather live in England than fucking Socialist Scotland. The Scottish.
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