If you can give me a new reason for speeding -- a reason I've never before heard -- I'll let you go."The old gentleman paused then said: "Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back." Have a good day, Sir," replied the trooper.GeorgiaThe owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of Georgia, and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings."LouisianaA senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana..."When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana 'cause everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the world."MississippiThe young man from Mississippi. ”“Thank you,” she said with a smile. “I’ve only ever had sex with my ex-husband, and he always came inside me. I just think he never made as much cum as you. Do you always make that much?”“This woman maybe thirty years old,” David thought, “But she’s as uninformed as a sixteen-year-old virgin.”“It depends,” he answered her question. “The amount of fluid created is directly related to a man’s excitement level.”“Were you excited?”“Oh, hell, yes. I was very excited,” David said as his hand fondled her breast. “You have an exceptional body, Diane, and you express your level of enjoyment. You weren’t shy about letting me know how much you enjoyed what I was doing.”“I’ve never made noise before,” she whispered in surprise. “Ted told me I should be quiet and accept the gift of his semen.”“Then Ted was an ignorant mother-fucker,” he blurted out, feeling angry that such a beautiful woman that obviously enjoyed sex could be treated so stupidly.Putting her hand on his bare leg, Diane said, “I.
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