“Julian, what you are looking for is revenge not money. I know it. Ava knows it. Hell, anyone who knows the story, and there are a few of us now, knows it. Twenty million, no strings! How about it?” he said.“No,” I said. “Not even close. And revenge? I don’t know if I would characterize things that way. I sacrificed everything for the woman, and you; and Candace too though I didn’t know about her at the time. I figure I’m entitled to what I’m asking for.”“Julian...”“No, and don’t ask again. Candace got me to talk to the two of you again, that even after I swore to myself that I never would. But, that’s the limit of my tolerance unless I get what I think I deserve. I know I’ve got no say in any of that, but I can just cut the lot of you out of my life an get on with being as happy as I can without you. Understand!” I said.“I guess,” he said. “But, you’re being unreasonable. There is way more to what you are asking for than you imagine. Believe me,” he said.We talked and he continued to. ...different.I don't know, I guess I'll sleep on it.March 20I've finally made a decision.I'm going to do it.The doctors who they referred me to, they don't know what to do with me.I mean, normally, you have to live as the other gender for a while beforeyou can switch and all this other crap, but my situation is....unique.They're starting me on hormones right away, which is something I suppose.They make me feel a little more...normal I guess you can call it, thoughI'm not sure that's quite the right word for it.It's still not like it was, but I guess it's something.March 23I've never felt so alone...I guess my whole...ordeal is starting to weird people out. I mean, eventhe people who stuck with me after I changed are starting to shy awayfrom me. Even Sally and Chris are starting to distance themselves, in apolite sort of way.They've got me going to some support group, but I'm even an outsiderthere. My situation...it's not really like anybody else's. A few of theothers are bitter that.
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