He walked with leaden feet back to his camp and meant to build up the fire, fix some coffee, heat water for shaving. He had all of those things in mind. The next thing he knew, he’d dropped to his knees on the blankets. As he lay face down, he fisted the Russian and thought that, if he died, there would be one very satisfied bunch of folks in the world. A widow…. How could she be a widow and so young?… But not so young as she looked. Sad thing for her, if she’d loved the man. Maybe sadder if not. Freckles. It was the last thing he thought for quite a while. * * * * * * * * * He came awake when he felt the rush of cold air against his bare back. His fist tightened around the Russian – only it wasn’t there. Bewildered, he tried to roll over to search for it. ‘Easy.’ The voice was husky and he knew it at once. ‘What day is it?’ His tongue felt like old felt. Her hands were cool on him, against his hot skin, prodding painfully at his back. Again, he tried to turn over, and she said,. "Good." The doctor changed the style of questioning, removing any reference to 'David'. "Can you hear me?" A nod. "You are not afraid. David is afraid. When he goes, you take over. You are safe, because of who you are. No-one will ever recognise you as David. No-one will ever mistake you for David. You are Barbara, but you have always been known as 'Barbie'. You will do everything in your power to complete yourself, because as yourself, you are completely safe. You have a picture of yourself in your mind. You have a picture of 'Barbie', of you. You are a beautiful, graceful, elegant woman. You are a blonde, a blonde Barbie. Can you imagine what a blonde Barbie looks like?" A nod. "Can you imagine what a blonde Barbie should act like?" A more hesitant nod. "We will help you to understand yourself and to be yourself. As your psychiatrist and as your friend I will help you to be yourself. "First, we you shall learn to use makeup. Nurse Hargreaves will.
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