“Be a good cow. Smash those rings.”I seized the hammer and raised it up and brought it down as hard as I could onto the rings. Our rings were white gold, so they were soft and easily smashable. My engagement ring had a diamond on it. The diamond flew off under the couch somewhere. I wondered if we’d ever see it again. I struck again. Then again, and again. The rings bent, flattened as they drove into the oak panel. I hammered and hammered and hammered. Good cow.“Stop, stop, stop,” he said. “Christ, stop it. So fucking loud. I believe you. You did it.”I was crying. Why was I crying? I shouldn’t be crying. I’d passed the test. I was so happy, so fucking happy.He came up beside me. He put the collar on me. He sat on the couch and brought up his smart phone. “Smile, baby. It’s your owning day. Show off your collar.”I flashed a huge grin, tears drying on my face. I turned my head to the side, stretched my neck a little to show off my brand-new collar. Happy cow.“All right, I’m totally. Nothing more. For her age, she’s okay, but nothing special – it’s only the fact that she’s wearing so little, and on this show, that keeps our interest in her.As she gets closer, we can see her in better detail. Reddish-blonde hair, pulled tight to a pony-tail behind her head, with an eye-length straight fringe, distracts from her bland features. She’s neither attractive or ugly, just very plain. A wide mouth, with thin lips, a biggish nose, smallish eyes… She looks friendly and unthreatening, like a very safe option. The kind of woman your mother or wife could be friends with and you’d never fantasize about… You’d leave your children with her… Until today, you’d probably trust her to look after your pets…Facially, she’s a 5 or 6 out of 10.She walks to her mark and stops sharp, looking right into camera and announcing happily, and a little too loudly, in a friendly and educated accent, “Hello, my name’s Diane Campbell, and I’m a 45-year-old veterinary nurse from Reading…” .
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