" Well," said the big Croc, "what have you been eating?" Politicians, same as you," replied the small Croc."Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?" Down the other side of the swamp near the parking lot by the Capitol." Same here. Hmm. How do you catch them?" Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out of them and eat 'em!" Ah!" says the big Crocodile, "I think I see your problem. You're not getting any real nourishment. You see, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a politician, there's nothing left but an asshole and a briefcase."The Difference between Grandpa and Grandma Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Grandmothers and Grandfathers? Well, here it is:There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with his son's family on weekends. Every Saturday morning he would take his 5-year-old grandson out for a drive in the car for. . I don't think so, Deanna. I called to congratulate you... Merry Christmas to you, too. Goodbye."She closed her cell phone and laid it on the table. "James doesn't know. Deanna plans to tell him tonight. She didn't say, but she also plans to introduce James to... what's her name, her new lover?" Glenna Kepler," Mary said."Yeah, her. I don't like this. Not one little bit. James..." Tears welled in her eyes. "James is supposed to spent the night with Deanna. I understood that, but..." She sniffed and brushed away the tears from the corners of her eyes with her fingers.The doorbell rang. "I'll get it," I said.The man at the door was delivering the first batch of fresh-cut flowers for Grace from James. I tipped deliveryman and carried the flower arrangement to the kitchen table."They're for you," I said to my sister. She'd composed herself while I answered the door.Grace removed the card and read it. With a strangled sob, she tore the card in half. "I can't do this anymore. I can't! I.
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