He gave a good account of himself that much was obvious."Learning of his friend's death affected Cog grievously but he could not dwell on it, there were other matters needing attending too. He made the sign representing a woman."It was plainly obvious to me that Bass intended on taking both of them alive," Dancort answered, "They're save enough for now I believe... but later on, who can know."Cog picked up the oars and it became apparent to Dancort that he intended on rowing toward the Maidens Revenge. Placing his good hand over Cog's to stop him Dancort said, "Going to the ship now shall only succeed in getting us both killed and will do little good for Constance or Teresa. You are but one man and I am with only one good arm. We are well hidden enough within this fog, let's wait and watch a little while longer, remember if Bass hasn't learned the truth concerning how I locked the wheel he will not be able to sail the Maidens Revenge out of this harbor."Cog nodded, acknowledging the. Helmut and I had sex that night. It had been several days since our lastcoupling, but we had now done it scores of times since Helmut took myvirginity. I still didn't find it pleasurable but neither did I find itdistasteful any more. As I'd feared it might, it had become somethingthat was simply routine. I matched his passion though mine wasn't real,and I still faked my own moans of pleasure of course, but something elsehas happened between us that I hadn't expected. Helmut loves me - no,Helmut *adores* me. The way he looks at me, his caresses, how consideratea lover he is, the man is totally smitten. Being the object of all that,even if you don't return those feelings, is a heady thing and I can'thelp feeling guilty that this love affair is such a one-sided thing, thatI'm deceiving him. I'm doing so for the best of reasons, in service of mycountry, but knowing that doesn't help. As my guilt grew so I discoveredI could assuage it with sex, that while I got no pleasure from itdirectly.
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