Main utha aur bola: Chaliye pahle aap paet ke bal laetiye.Aunty laetti hui boli: Laet ke kaise karoge?Main: Aap pahli baar kar rahi hona?Aunty: Haan.Main: To pahle mujhe achche se massage karne dijiye aapki gand ki warna dard ho sakta hai.Aunty: Massage! Waah, ye to badiya hai, waise tum bade jaankar lag rahe ho.Main uth kar aunty ki mulayam gand ko dabata hua bola: Akhir mom ne jo sikhaya hai.Iske baad main aunty ke jangho par ja baitha. Unke gadraye mulayam fule hue gand ko dabakar maza dete hue massage karne laga. Kuch der baad bagal mein rakhi vaseline liya.Achche maatra mein lekar unki gand ke darar mein lagane laga. Lagata hua unki gand ki ched par vaseline ko achche se malte hue bola: Waise maa ke paas ek dusri cheez hai lagane ke liye.Aunty: Haan pata hai mujhe.Main: Woh kaise?Aunty thodi hakbakati hui boli: Aa…. Woh… woh usne mujhe dikhayi thi.Main: Mmm… to iske jagah woh le aate na.Aunty: Are baba, ek to bahana maarke gayi mein waha. Uspar Bharti ke rahte woh sab kaise. I got so many drinks thrown my way you’d swear that when I flashed them I didn’t have a bra on. Damn men are strange as all hell. My friend Shelly grabbed my arm ever so swiftly and hauled me out of the bar. The fresh air hit me like a ton of bricks. Damn I didn’t even realize it was so hot and stuffy in there. I looked at Shelly trying her best not to look irritated in her khaki Capri pants, green knit sweater, and golden blonde hair, her frame almost identical to mine. She just looked at me and tsked. I just looked at her and rolled my eyes ‘Like if I haven’t hauled your ass out of many bars on plenty occasions.’ Damn she acted like I did this all the time. I was always the designated driver. Alcohol never really interested me. That’s until today when I just happened to walk on one of my best friends with my fiancée. Then all of a sudden alcohol was looking like it was made especially for me, like all of a sudden every drink had the words ‘Catherine’ on them. I snapped my.
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