I didn't know how Icould continue through the day after the humiliating way I had handledPaul. I was hateful to him and right in front of the whole class.I had always tried to show the students what an understanding andfriendly teacher I could be; now they had seen a side of me that I neverknew existed: a mean streak. Yet, I wasn't mean and I didn't mean to bemean: I just knew Paul and I had to separate, to no longer see eachother, and unconsciously this was the way I chose to do it.But, no, I'd "tough it out" and go to school, trying to figure out whatI'd do when Paul showed up in last hour English class. The school wasnot large and it was very likely I'd see him in the hallway or thecafeteria. What would I do? I'd have to ignore him, and maybe I couldassign him to a rear seat in my class."God you're a wreck," I told myself as I wiped the fog off the bathroommirror. My eyes were puffy from a night of crying. My face seemed toeven look fatter. My hair was scraggly after the. Am I reading you correctly?’ I answered: ‘Yes. The debts and credits thing is valid as a superficial view of this law. ‘As ye sow, so shall ye reap’ goes a little deeper but it is really always about upsetting and restoring balance at the spiritual levels. The word actually means ‘action,’ any action that disturbs a balance, any balance. We can also look at karma as creating something and then experiencing the creation. Early in human manifestation we deliberately make lots of karma, in essence trying experiments. We also make even more accidentally as we blunder through life. The personality is generally oblivious to all of this but the soul is very aware of all of the imbalances. In later lifetimes we will work to re-balance our outstanding karma. Much or most of our karma is cleared in the same lifetime in which it is generated but far from all. Sometimes the lessons of a particular karmic drama are sufficiently subtle or require preparation such that a given karmic load must.
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