’ ‘Hi Kaye.’ ‘Hi Amber. Jeff said he talks to you most week days.’ ‘Yes that’s right. Well come over guys.’ Kaye smiled and said, ‘Thanks but just togo for a drink and then to dinner and goodness knows what else.’ Amber gritted and thought that was putting it delicately. Goodbyes were exchanged and Jeff and his hot woman were gone. Once again Amber wished she’d joined the FBI. The shock of Jeff doing this to her had put Amber right off masturbating. She went into the changing room and returned with an old magazine. She began reading it and discovered it was mostly about failed romances of celebrities. She had to grin. It was two more afternoons before she saw Jeff again. He vaulted the fence and produced a half bottle of sparkling wine and a tin of mixed nuts. ‘Hi,’ he said cheerfully and she replied coolly. ‘Bad day at the office, you sound grumpy?’ She almost demonstrated how grumpy she was by telling him to stick the wine but thought better of it and so she asked him where Kaye. I'm sure the others were there: as a matter of fact, I was positive of it since I had experienced them all after I had first seen them last night. But that was before I was this close.As Nan turned toward the door and went to open it, I had a few seconds to catch my breath and calm myself down. I had to be very careful: I understood that my feelings were in chaos and my control was ragged at best. Sure, over the past five plus years I had learned control and patience, but those were for things I could control; things that were predictable and for which the rewards and consequences were clear. They never included wives, or ex-wives or children or any of those things that were part of a civilized life. Prison was far from civilized. It was dog-eat-dog where the strong survived and the weak succumbed and the result was a culture that worked. Those with a skill or a talent or some degree of knowledge that could be bartered into something better were the winners. The weak or the ignorant.
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