To this day I am amazed I heard any of her words. ‘That road will take you south to Oklahoma City and Dallas. You go west on this road and run into Amarillo, Flagstaff, and eventually the West Coast. Back that direction is east toward St Louis, and if you take this northbound road you’ll find a whole lot of nothing all the way to Canada.’ ‘I think I got it.’ I replied. She returned to her truck, giving me a view of her perfect backside. Just before driving off she said, ‘Good luck cowboy. Hope you find what you’re looking for.’ As she drove away I saw painted on the tailgate the picture of a stylized butterfly. It was the same emblem on a box that had played an important role in my survival. In that instant, where before I had no direction I now knew the next path to follow. I turned my Jeep around and followed her dust cloud, but I knew where she was headed. Less than thirty minutes ago I had delivered that previously mentioned box to her front door with a note that read, ‘This. It was something one never sees coming, one most never hope for, but it happens more often than people realized back then...or now. THE EARLY YEARSI was a very good girl, I did what my parents told me to do, and I was innocent and from a wealthy family, meant to marry whom my father thought best for me. Even though, I did know what sex was, my maids and the help did have rumps in the hay often enough that I had seen it. I would watch the help's hands play under the maid's skirt and sometimes I would try to do that late at night by myself but after I gave myself great pleasure, but then I would feel guilty and stop. Even when I went through puberty I tried to get the help's attentions, but they knew that more than their jobs were at stake if they were to get caught with me. So I became cool to men, I did not trust them; instead I trusted my mother and keeping my virtue intact for my husband. Eventually my father chose me a husband; he was from another well off family who lived in.
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