His existence as the driving force in my life still remains and dominates all others. He is the Master of my love, of each beat of my heart, of every breath that I take. And he knows it. He has, in both words spoken and not, pointed out to me all the things I have allowed to creep back into my way of life since his departure. I have both cringed at wept at the girl I have presented to him now after our countless hours together. I have allowed myself to get swept away by those I have surrounded myself instead of holding true to all that he taught me. My shame is great. He says that he does not hold me responsible for the changes he has noticed and I am sure there will be more that become apparent to his unwavering gaze. He knows me like no other and the more time I spend with him, the more I reveal, without even knowing, of how I have let myself go once he was gone. I feel so much shame but yet still find hope in the time he allows me to be at his feet. In one sentence he can have me. The 3 of us ordered pizza, as did every else in the building. That was a really bad idea. It would be 2 hours before we saw a pizza. So in the mean time, we turned on the T.V., chilled, and talked. Their were only 2 beds in the rooms, a large comfy seat, a computer chair, and a T.V. set with furniture and what not. So I sat on the edge of one bed and the others found seats on the other bed and in the computer chair. I finally got to know the drummer, who I thought was serious and mean. He was short, skinny, had short, curly blonde hair, and had a stern look on his face all the time. Well maybe that was just around band because I learned that he was a serious party animal and has gotten laid time and time again. He was super chill. He managed to sneak in some beer in his backpack and me and the trumpet player took a sip. I hated it, so I drank a coke. But the drummer drank the rest. So, we finally got the pizza but it was already 11:30. Which was lights out. So we just.
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