I shook my head. "Yeah. Was just lost in the flames." And in my memories. Liam's face was in the flames.She picked the s'mores ingredients up shaking them and smiled. "Want?"I chuckled. "Sure." Sweet." She handed me the stuff, then went and got a chair and sat it down next to me. She lowered herself into it then took the stuff back. A few minutes later we were both eating melty yumminess."I have had more s'mores in the last few days than I've had in the last decade."She looked at me like I had said the most outlandish thing ever. "Really?"Really." All of a sudden I felt weird. Like I shouldn't have said that."Wow. I can't imagine." She continued to look at me like that. "Being an adult sucks enough, I need s'mores to remind me to have fun once in a while."I pondered that, then asked her for the stuff to make a second one. She laughed. I smiled. We sat there eating, talking and watching the fire until the flames died down.We were almost exactly the same age; her birthday was a week. The other guests — among them bill and Dorothy page of roman a clef, perhaps the best restaurant in America, perennial squash champion haroun ahmed, with an Egyptian boyfriend who I did not know, and neurosurgeon miles O’Rourke with his wife rhea — were all apparently making the descent for the first time, and neither Xavier nor I had the heart to make the withering comments that were so obviously appropriate. Once the floor settled and the lights went dim, I completely forgot my surroundings and my companions. I have always been a pushover for the movies — as a little girl, they were my basic means of escape from my mundane Vermont childhood. I’ve been such a pushover, in fact, that I remain one of the most unreliable critics I know. I can find something I like in any film, even the cheapest and most grotesque, if nothing more than the saturated brightness of color itself or a single expression on the face of one ham actor. In addition, the dimming of the lights was also like a time.
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