I let him make me come like a common slut. Now I'm drowning in a sewer of my own making and I don't know if I can ever find my way out. I hope someday Mama, Papa, and Petre will be able to understand and forgive me. I pray that they'll understand that I started out doing this to protect them - that I am doing it for them, still. I hope they'll find it in their hearts to forgive me for allowing it to go this far — even forgive me for not being sure that I can stop or even want this to stop, any longer. I hope they can understand and forgive me my growing desire to submit ... simply surrender my will to another ... embracing my desire to no long have to choose. I hope they can come to comprehend my neediness - which I am only now beginning to realize that I have felt my entire life. Most of all, I hope they can forgive the freedom my soul feels now that I no longer have any choices other than to simply comply with Stefan's desires and wishes. Tasha silently sobbed to herself as she. She dropped her shawl, shook out her thick, straight, fair hair. For a moment he watched her every movement as she inspected the kitchen."You wish to see my room?" he suggested.She looked at him and swallowed, eyes betraying conflict and uncertainty. A little nod of the head signified consent. He crossed the room to her and took her lightly by the hand."This way," he told her softly before leading her to the stairs.The narrow single bed had been made. His landlady had a habit of doing that so he barely noticed her absence. She'd also quickly tidied up, although Yvgeny was economical in his personal habits anyway. It's the first thing a young Naval Cadet learns, to keep his quarters tidy."It's small," she said."A palace compared to the Grozny," he replied, "on board ship I have enough room for a bunk and tiny table and that's it. The enlisted men have even less. They hot bunk and..." Hot bunk?" Share... different watches of course," he added, "not at the same time." And you don't.
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