I knew my Uncle was a bachelor and certainly didn’t live a flashy lifestyle. He wasn’t a junkie, or a gambler and his vices was all in moderation at least on the surface. That was a big plus in the favor of him just being an innocent bystander and there was no evidence to implicate him to the murders or the mayhem of the “dirty cop” detail.It was easy to pick out a few names from the FBI file and enter them into my notebook for some follow-up interrogation about contacts with the Internal Affairs department. I wasn’t expecting any of them to start talking or even give up any hard cold facts but I needed to get a feel for the organized crime take on the entire thing and see I they exuded supreme confidence about their control or were actually sweating it out hoping the FBI would lose interest if things cooled off a little bit and things quieted down.My hope was that the latter was the case and we might be able to find a chink in the mob’s armor if we got the goods on one of the low. My name is Michelle Guptill, I'm 44 years old, and I'm dying of lungcancer. I don't have an ounce of self-pity, because I brought all ofthis on myself. I do feel terrible guilt, though, about the fourteenagers I'm leaving behind, as my death will leave them orphans. It'sbeen nine years since we lost their father, my husband Bert.What beautiful children they are. Grace is 17, Abigail is 15, Jacob is14 and Emma is 12, and they are the greatest of the many undeservedblessings I've received in my life.It's a warm fall day, and I feel strong enough to unhook myself from myoxygen to go out on the porch to smoke. Yes, I'm still smoking. Quittingnow would really be like closing the barn gate after the horse was gone,so why put myself through the agony?I don't look in the mirror; I don't need to be reminded of what'shappened to me over the past nine months since my diagnosis. Radiationcost me my hair, and a cheap red wig sits atop my head. I weighed 150pounds before I became ill, probably 25.
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