She represents my lust and promiscuity. Many times I would find her whispering in my ear, fantasies I never knew I had in the lewdest and erotic ways possible. In my dreams, she occupied my bed. In my mind, she molded my sexuality; my fetishes. Even now I would venture to say she is dominant. On one side she keeps Caleb at bay, dominating him with a whip, leashing him next to her like the rabid dog that he is. On her other side, she is curled up behind Victor, corrupting him, yet consoling him in his weakness.So which is it? Who am I? I am all three. I am Victor, the innocent Christian boy who knows no wrong. I am Caleb, rabid dog full of anger and hatred. I am Alexis, the lust-filled dominant keeping the other two in check.I know what you’re thinking. Alexis is a female amongst two males in your fractured mind. What is your sexuality? What is your gender or gender identity? I guess you could say I’ve experienced both in some form. I’ve dressed as both. I’ve acted. " Actually," I said. "They can tease me all they want. I don't care anymore. Maybe seeing life from this side of the hospital bed has put things into perspective for me. What I really want to do is start saving for University."I could see the surprise on everybody's face. "Hey, it's time I start thinking about my future," I said. "I can't expect Mom and Dad to foot that kind of bill, and I've only got five years in which to save enough to pay my way in."Ann was at a loss for words. Mike was nodding his head, agreeing with me. "That's pretty profound Patti. Very mature thinking." Yeah," I sighed. "The problem is, at my age, there aren't a lot of jobs available." That depends on what you're willing to do," Mike said. "There's work out there, but most kids are too lazy or think the job is beneath them. If you're really serious, I think I can help you find something that pays reasonably well." Mike! The poor girl is still in the hospital. And I don't want to see her grades suffer because.
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