' But I did not want tostart any rumours I may be held account to later, so I said nothing.Tracey meanwhile abandoned me to the clean up, which lead to, whilst Idid so, the germination of an idea. As I thought about what lay in wait,literally, for me, when I finished the shift, I slid three of thexylocaine syringes into my scrub pocket.Necessity, as they say, is the mother of invention. Hopefully no morepainful sex for me.*****Dyspareunia.That's the medical term for painful intercourse.I had to concede that, pending my future physical inspection unearthingunexpected surprises, my pain was more psychological than physical.I had to get used to it. Which more specifically meant I had to come toterms with my lot. In the meantime, numbing my nethers would be asuitable stop gap.If I couldn't feel what was being done to me, maybe it would disturb mefar less.I was well aware that lignocaine was also the base ingredient fordesensitising sprays used by premature ejaculators, but Kevin would. I almost respond to one ad on Craigslist but then I stop. What the hell? Did last night seriously happen? What the fuck am I doing? I stand and hunt for the packing slip from the box... crate... thing. I find it on the floor next to the couch. It's empty. Completely blank - my name isn't anywhere on the sheet of paper. Nothing. No faded ink, no impression from any typewriter or anything else. Just a pure white piece of paper. But, the paper exists. And the box. And the plastic bag. I'm not losing my mind. I'm not. The cum on the carpet, too. I didn't make that up. I didn't run a marathon in my sleep and burn off all my fat somehow. My alarm startles me and I drop the paper. Shit. It's my warning to start heading to work. Should I call in sick? And then what? Mope around my apartment? No, no. Not that. Work will distract me. I'll take some time to puzzle things out and I can tackle things again when I get home. I grab my wallet, keys and jacket and head out. My car is a humble little.
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