I reached down and pulled mine back up into place and then joined the other women by the chairs where we put our dresses back on and left the room. None of us spoke to each other and dispersed back into the crowd of the party.I went straight to the bar. After that, I needed a drink.Some time went by, and I finished my second Martini. I was starting to feel much more relaxed now. My husband was still gone with John and I started to notice familiar faces from the room as they began to come out. I watched as some of them returned to wives, and others mingled together, clearly there alone.I looked at each one of them, realizing that sometime in the near future I was going to belong to one of them for two days. I'll be honest, most of them were not very physically attractive to me at all. Some of them bigger men, some of them much older. But for some reason, now that wasn’t what mattered. It was what they were going to make me do that was the turn on, regardless of their age or. Sadly, "Hi, Alex, I'm sorry." Logan, you didn't do anything to me. I'm sorry."Totally contrite, "I ruined everything. You didn't do anything." I pushed you to perform." Oh, OK.... I went to a psychiatrist." Really!" He's actually nice. I can talk about stuff that I can't talk about with anybody else." Oh, Sean helps me." He wants you to come with me one time." Ya think." Alex, I miss you so much." Me too." Fighting tears, "But I'm really mad at you. I don't even know what you did. I don't wanna know." I'm mad at me too. I wanna die. Just zap me." Logan, don't say that!" But I mean it. The shrink says he has helped every person that came to him with performance anxiety. That helps me keep going." His parents' eyes bulge out with these words, but remain silent.Alex asks, "What's performance anxiety?"Logan's eyes light up briefly, "You know."Alex smiles, "Oh."Suddenly Logan bursts into tears, "I tried to rape Jeff!"Even though Alex had imagined worse, this shocks him, "Ouch." Yeah, big.
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