But this apocalypse is nothinglike I am Legend. My fate pales into significance against The Omega Mans.I wish the world were populated by blood sucking vampires or pasty facedzombies, something I could take a shotgun to in cathartic blood lust andrage. Something spine tingling to get the adrenaline going, to save mefrom this terrible boredom which a fate almost as bad as death. I've readevery dime novel on the subject, from Damnation Alley to George A.Romero's screenplays. Those guys had it easy. I wish I had mutantscorpions the size of Cadillac's after me, hordes of leaches out for me.And it's all because of some virus. Something so small you can onlyimagine it. I put on my suit and go through the twin air locks. I'm outside. I stareabout. The virus is out there, floating in the air. The corner store is two blocks away and I head straight there. I grab atrolley and push it down the aisles. The wheel squeaks as I pause in thecanned goods section. Canned food. Good for another year.. . well, it involvesthe husband and wife switching roles. The woman wears a tux, and standsat the front, and the man wears a bridal gown, and comes down the aisle.You think you guys would be willing to do it?" But I'd look ridiculous in a dress!" my husband protested."That's kinda okay. Nobody is supposed to take things really seriously,and well, most of the guests will be pretty tipsy anyway." You really want us to do this?" I asked.My niece nodded.I looked at my handsome husband and said, "Its gonna be up to you, hon. Idont mind wearing a tux." Do we need to do this?" He asked."I'd really appreciate it." she pleaded.I grinned at him, and said, "I would do anything I could to make thiswedding a success. and I could ... make it worth your while, after."He smiled at that, and said, "Okay. I'm in."So a few weeks later, we went to a costume shop, and found me a tux thatwould fit me, and then we found a dress for my love to wear. "You better not be laughing at me!" he growled while trying.
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