But it was also the sexiest goddamn thing I’d ever seen in my life, so I came, hard, instead, my eyes squeezing shut as I did.The tommy gun effect was on me, and I started going off like strafe bombs, with scant moments of lucidity between the madness of sexual release, the uniquely feminine experience of multiple orgasms. My thoughts were like this, “Oh God, here it comes…” gasp, quiver, shake, mind empty, “can’t… stop… cumming,” blank, spasming, tensing, “Oh God, what if,” sweet heaven, YES, oohh, ohhh… “what if Daddy,” MMMMM, OH GOD, huh, huh, huh, shaking, shaking, “Daddy cums” vibrating, tense like stone, flooding, moaning, “DADDY CUMS” Hmmmm, HUH, OH, OH, “ON ME!”The realization that Daddy could hardly witness the show I was putting on for him without losing control himself crashed in on me like a suicide truck slamming into a bridge abutment, and I knew instantly that it would not only happen, but that there would be no way either of us could pretend it had not. How could I. Let your kids know it’s alright to feel sad and miss her, but you have to acknowledge she is gone. It’s the first step to working through this.”I felt tears on my cheeks as the room blurred.“I’m lost,” I said with a shudder. “I don’t know what to do anymore,” I admitted.Kelly cross the room in a few steps and hugged me again.“You’re not lost, Paul. Your friends and family are nearby. Your kids are here. Let us all help carry a small part of your burden. Trust me, it’s the only way through this for you and Ali and Jer.”For the first time in weeks, I cried. For a heartbeat, I let myself believe I was not alone, and I hated myself for thinking it.“Daddy, can I ask you a question?” Ali said as she sat down beside me on the family room couch.“Of course, you can, honey,” I said.“Can I learn to fly?”Her question caught me totally off guard.“Why do you want to?” I asked.“I told Aunt Helen about Jer on the plane,” she said simply.After his fear and loathing of flying out to Washington DC, we.
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