Beautiful laughter filled me, the being simply said, ‘Van, you were always a dreamer, dreaming of different things. I am surprised that you would think of that.’ Van, very few people know me by my middle name. Very few. ‘McGregor, is that you,’ I ask. She laughs again, it is a laugh that you can only hear in people who have smoke thousands of cigarettes over a life time, but here it is beautiful. ‘You asked me to be here when you arrived, so here I am,’ simply stated from a woman I deeply respected even though she was my secretary when she was alive. ‘McGregor where in the hell is here,’ I boldly ask her than thought, ‘oh shit’ am I going be hit with a bolt of lightning for my impertinence. I thought she was shaking her head, but she didn’t have a head. Let me try to explain what I saw was McGregor, she was a sphere of indeterminate height and breadth not of a physical sense but of energy. I could not tell you how big she was because there was nothing here that I could identify, that. I started stroking myself with my eyes shut then started fingering my asshole. I was pretending it was him inside me and I started to stroke faster and faster. I blew my load within minutes then just continued to lay there and soak. All I could think about was him. Who was he? I kept asking myself. I couldn't stop thinking about him.A few weeks later and a week after prom, I got up the nerve to go back to the bookstore to buy the anal plug I wanted. Scott left for the Summer for work so I had to go by myself. I remember wearing a pair of short white shorts and as I walked, I felt like the new car being unveiled at a car show. Everyone was staring at me and I even received a few winks. I kind of liked the attention. When I walked down the dildo aisle, I couldn't believe it, there he was. I felt like a schoolgirl seeing her idol for the first time. I quickly turned and acted like I was reading one of the boxes and when I looked up at him, he was looking my way then gave me a nod. I.
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