But I can’t deny that it felt good ... or at least most of it did. And I’ve had fantasies that you played into when you did those things to me. I had orgasms yesterday, a lot of them. I still feel bad about cheating on my husband with his sons.”“But your conscience doesn’t bother you so much that you aren’t going to have a lot more orgasms today.”I sighed and shook my head.I turned and pulled the covers back on his bed. As I was sitting down on the edge of the bed Kirk nervously asked, “You were awake the whole time?! You knew ... you felt it when I...”“Yes, Kirk. I felt it when you shoved your cock into my throat.”“Shit! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. Not the first time. It was an accident. I didn’t want to hurt you.”I don’t know why I decided to let him off the hook. I guess the sincerely sorry look on his face had something to do with it. I smiled and said, “It’s okay. It was scary more than it hurt. My throat muscles were paralyzed too and I was afraid I might choke or drown. But. ‘Well,’ Sturges continued, ‘throwing hysterical screaming fits–which you and I know that that yesterday wasn’t, but could be taken for—is not good self promotion. I wanted to minimize what happened.’ He glanced out the window, frowning, and said, ‘That thing about agoraphobia, well, it cast what occurred into a more benign light. But PTSD raises a slew of questions, none of which you want to explore while your new faculty member is beginning to teach students, apply for grants, and attend faculty meetings. Right?’ ‘That’s how you discovered it?’ Sturges said, tonelessly, ‘You know, Dr. Bell, it makes me quite nervous to be discussing my postdoctoral student’s mental health—or anything else, for that matter—with a CIA guy. Back when I was a grad student that would have ended your academic career quicker than getting picked up on a cocaine charge. Actually, much quicker.’ ‘Okay,’ said Bell agreeably. ‘I remember that, too. But things have changed, as you imply. Didn’t you? And not just.
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