Then a miracle happened. You were that miracle. We loved you from the moment we knew I was carrying you. When I heard I was pregnant, it seemed something in me melted. A warmth and peace came into my life I had never known before.We watched you grow, but worried. We were older than most of the parents of your friends. Still, we watched with joy as you grew. We shared your excitement when you made discoveries about everyday things, bringing to us a sense of newness we had long ago lost.As we got older, your father started to sicken. We hid that from you. We didn't want to hold you back. We knew you would have forgone school in order to stay with us. Now I fear it is my turn. I don't fear for me, but for you. I know you loved your father deeply, and it hurt you when he died. This is a part of life most of your friends won't experience for years to come, the death which comes for us all.Son, don't give up on school. Don't wallow in self pity. Mourning and grief are a natural process, so. Her high tinkling laugh drifted to me across the noise of the cafe as they shared some unknown joke. I felt a moment of envy for the man serving her. I wanted to have those green eyes flashing at me – to have that laugh responding to some comment of mine. Then I acknowledged the envy for the foolishness it was and let it fade away.I turned away and looked out the window when I saw her paying for her order. I could clearly see her reflection in the glass but this way she wouldn't see me staring at her when she turned around. I watched as she picked up the little cardboard tray with its four take-away cups held in place – always four cups – and made her way out of the cafe. From the reflection of her face in the glass, she seemed happy and relaxed as she walked past me, then I lost sight of her in a crowd of people around the doorway.I kept looking out the window and soon saw her waiting at the curb and then striding across the road. The bouncing skirt caught my attention as it rose.
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