Patterns ... I had been pleasantly drunk before Amanda pulled out the dope. Was I now having hallucinations? But that wasn’t supposed to be. Uh-oh. Was the joint laced with something? Oh well, just keep looking at the patterns and lights and don’t close your eyes.Time passes. The train rocks and rolls. What time is it? Where has everyone gone? I roll over to the edge of the bunk and look toward window. Amanda is asleep sitting up. I look down. Lois is lying back asleep but ... her blouse is open. Craig is fondling her left breast and her bra is pushed up. I start to get up. But before I move I look at Lois’s face again; she is not asleep. Her eyes are closed but her hips are moving. As I watch, I see her tongue lick her lips. Oh shit, I think, what am I seeing?I roll back and look at the ceiling one foot from my face. What do I do? What do I want to do? Should I do anything? The train is rocking. Just rocking. This is rape. She is stoned. Surely she doesn’t know what he is doing.. She was silent at the end, and I wondered if I had put her to sleep, but then she stirred and crawled up my body and kissed me. “I am so sorry. What can I do to help?”Oh, Jeana, if you only knew. “You help just be being here. That’s all I need.”“So why all the secrecy?” she asked.“What do you think is going to happen when everyone in the world knows I am living on my own? Do you think your parents are going to let you come over here to visit? Do you think half the school is going to think they can come over here to party all the time? Can you think of anything positive that will result?”“Do you really think that will happen?”“Oh, baby, you have no idea! I’d never get anything done! And do you really think your parents are going to approve of this?”She smiled ruefully at that. “Well, probably not.”“Probably? Do you think there is any possibility whatsoever that your father would want you to be alone in my apartment on my couch while I was doing wicked things with you?” I leaned my face.
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