I know I can’t really understand how you’re feeling, none of us can. But we are your friends, Will, and we love you, and we are hurting for you at the moment.”I squeezed her hand, and blinked my eyes. I felt I was on the verge of crying.“Thanks, that means a lot to me,” I said, my voice cracking. “You really help me, Mary Beth. Now I will try to get back to sleep; I’m sure tomorrow’s going to be super stressful. Well, it’s already tomorrow. I mean later today, you know what I mean. Thanks for the words of support.”She kissed me on the cheek as we made our way to our respective rooms. I thought about what she has said, the five stages of grief. Denial, that made sense, and Anger. But what was the third? Bargaining? How the fuck did that make sense? I guess some bright spark psychologist came up with that, and was given some shrink award for their effort.The warm milk helped, as did the talk with Mary Beth, and I fell asleep, no nightmares this time. I woke up sometime after ten;. She could see the change in me right onmy face, as, through the course of our conversation, she saw my facialexpressions and deportment change from fear, confusion, disbelief andshame, into that 'a-ha' moment and a light bulb going of and seeingrevelation, and eventually acceptance take it's place. I didn't needany more hypnotism or mysticism, I was truly at peace with who and whatI was, and for the first time in my life, accepted it fully and embracedit. I LIKED being a girl, and I wasn't going to stop.I suddenly became acutely aware of my appearance and was againembarrassed but not like before."Jeez, I must look like the tarty little cum dumpster huh?" I said as Ispit some saliva on a tissue I had in my purse and tried to dab clean mysticky chin, which was akin to trying to clean up a water spill on yourfloor with a soaking wet sponge. We all giggled as I straightened myskirt and brushed little pieces of blacktop and dirt off of my knees.Seeming to know and sense then change in.
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