"Hi. Is this Karen?" Richard? I wasn't expecting you to call so soon." I'm sorry, I can call later. Tomorrow?" No, no, right now is fine. I was just putting away my dinner. Give me a second."I leaned back on my swivel chair and waited. I drew some pictures."Okay, I can talk. You still there?" I'm still here. What are you doing?" I asked."I was going to take a shower, read a book, and then go to bed. What about you? What are you up to?"Jerking off. Reading. Playing with the piano. Jerking off, again."I think I might watch a movie," I said.I avoided talking about what I really wanted to talk about, what she knew this was about. I told her I had to take it easy with my money. I couldn't afford drinks, couldn't afford to show her the good time she deserved. I felt cheap, but honest.She came up with the idea of coming to my place on Saturday. I agreed. I'd cook, and provide the music and entertainment. I told her I liked her plan.I wished her a good night and told her I couldn't wait. I. I suppose it depends on what level you’re talking about. In the here and now, every decision has an effect. Will it matter ten, one hundred, one thousand, or ten thousand years from now? Maybe. Maybe not. But ultimately, the universe ends, either by heat death or collapsing into a singularity and then, because there is no information transfer in either of those states, nothing matters.”“Unless God exists. So how do you cope with the meaninglessness?”“I find meaning in my life - my wives, my children, my friends, my work. And I mean something to all of them. The future will have to worry about itself.”“Then death is the end? There is nothing more?”“I don’t know. I hope you’re right and there is a happy eschaton where we live in peace and harmony for eternity. But I wouldn’t bet on it.”“That just seems hopeless.”“Perhaps so. That’s why I focus on the here and now and say that the future will take care of itself. I don’t worry too much about things I’m unable to control. I’ve done that.
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