..it has left my body at last. So, i walk in to my room with my new found confidence and glow of esteem.i pick out some studly clothes...and get on with the day. Later on when things finally slowed down around the house, i couldn't keep the dirty htoughts out of my head....i couldn't wait to go further with mrs. anna. lucky for me, after everyone went to sleep, i was still awake. i couldn't sleep and i decided to go chill at mrs. anna's house for a bit. when i got there, she was like, let's watch army wives upstairs in my room.and my stomach turned to nails and needles. i didn't believe what i was hearing from mrs. anna. so i followed her upstairs and crawled into her bed to watch army wives, i forgot to wear underwear that night and i kinda started to panic as mrs.anna crawled under the covers next to me and cuddled up. i stated breathing hard and lucky for me she had promised me a massage....so she asked if i was ready for my massage.....i gleefully answered hell yeah. i took off my. My actions had consequences I couldn't see,ripples moving out under an immobile facade, destruction behind falsenormalcy. If I could thoughtlessly cause something like this back when Iwas still normal, what might I set in motion now that I was so far fromaverage? "My Dad knows him. He'll want to know."I walked away quickly, my thoughts focused on what I had to do.I would heal him. I was decided in that. Was there some way I could makeit easier for him, smooth the inevitable disbelief afterwards? He was inthe hospital. If they had surveillance cameras in the rooms, there wouldbe proof of his story. Or I could bring my own camera along, video whathappened.The hospital. I was responsible for what happened to him. So I was goingto make it better. But what about all the other sick people, all thepeople who -?It hit me then, the way to fix it, fix everything, the thing which hadbeen lurking on the edges of my consciousness since I'd left Julia's.One death is a tragedy, a million is a.
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