I sat on the pavement and slowly recovered whilst the firemen tackled the fire. I watched the ambulance crew working on the mother and boy. I didn't see the two girls but there were several ambulances present by then, so they were probably in one further away.My head was throbbing, I suppose because of the smoke, as well as all the booze I'd consumed that evening. People kept coming up and congratulating me, telling me I was a hero. Damn, I didn't want or need that. Shortly after the police came over and started moving everyone further back, away from the fire. I took this as my chance and standing up quietly disappeared into the crowd that had gathered. I mingled for a little while and then made a hasty retreat.When I got home, I had a long shower to get rid of the smell of the smoke. I thought that I would have to get my clothes cleaned because they stank of smoke, but then I found some scorch marks on them and binned the lot. It was gone two by the time I finally crawled into. He was absolutely right and I knew it. I didn’t want to accept it though. After what we had done together, if we just stopped, I wouldn’t be able to go on living.“So,” I said. “You never just do something without thinking. Just because you can’t see the end doesn’t mean it’s not worth starting. I think we should do it. It’s the only logical thing in my head right now. It’s been the only logical thing in my mind since before you came home. Since after your girlfriend died. I bet you had everything planned out with her. I bet that wasn’t in your plans. Why do you feel like you need to trust me? Right after everything you know to be true fails, why do you think your mind wants you to look somewhere else for an answer? You’re the smart one always listening to your brain. Why don’t you listen to it when it tells you that you failed, that you need some help? I want to help.”“You’re fourteen.”“So!” I raised my voice. “Are you appalled by my little body? My small breasts. My fourteen year.
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