Dear Mrs. Harris,Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are “documented by our video surveillance cameras”:1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they weren’t looking.2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away’. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of Maltesers.6.. Eventually he succeeded in parking the car and got out, hardly aware of whathe was doing. Okay, the first time he had probably been thinking of somethingelse--his hair, or some damn thing or other--but that didn't explain hisinability to get it right the next time, or the time after that, or the timeafter that. What was the matter with him?/Calm down,/ his inner voice told him. /It's a small car park, probably asmall space, and this car is way too big. You just misjudged it. Happens allthe time./He reached into his pocket for his car keys, and finally wrestled them out.The pockets in these jeans were so tight he could hardly get anything in orout. And the lumps spoiled the line of the jeans. It was no wonder hecouldn't think straight.He wandered down the high (and, indeed, only) street of the village,consulting the list Rachel had given him, wondering if a village supermarketreally carried the range of foodstuffs she seemed to think it did. He lookedup, trying to get his bearings, and.
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