.. nothing... not even sex was as important. We need to leave this at a chat- cyber relationship.' Another few months passed and again I heard from Mary. She and Doug had tried sex together and, at best, it was not a good experience. They tried with Mary being on top on the couple of occasions they did do it. It didn't feel as comfortable as usual; she was quite heavily pregnant by this point and Doug hit her cervix. This was the point where she tearfully pleaded, 'Del, I need you, you know how to make love to me, to satisfy me. Please I know we promised each other our union was to make a baby only but my desires are over powering, I desperately need a man, not any man, but you inside me. Please, Del.' Mary's parting comment broke my heart. 'I just feel ugly and fat and totally unwanted. Right now I need to feel wanted to be told I am wanted, will you help me?' At this point I guess pride and the small part of the male brain called the 'pecker' took over. We discovered another time. "Breaking away I said, "Heather that's Katherine. She's a very special young woman too. The others will introduce you. I need to go to Vicky now." And I quickly headed for the stairs.I went upstairs and found Vicky in one of the spare bedrooms laying face down, with her head buried in a pillow crying."Vicky," I said softly as I entered.She abruptly sat up and glared at me."You left me!" She choked out the words. "Why didn't you let me go with you, die with you even? Why did you make me love you so much and then leave me alone? Sam, you left me! You left me and made me go on living without you! All you left me with was the dreams and always being afraid of sleeping or waking..." Oh Vicky, baby, I'm so sorry. I couldn't do anything about it honey. I would give my life not to hurt you. I had no control sweetie. I swear to you, I had no control over it. Honey, you said all I left you with was the dreams, but that's not true. I also left you with my heart. You own my heart baby. Now and.
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